


the tip of my tongue

by MakerOfAnarchy



Category: Glee RPF
Genre: D/s AU, Dom!Chris, Friends With Benefits, M/M, Possessive!Chris, sub!Darren
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-19
Updated: 2013-06-19
Packaged: 2017-12-15 10:06:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/848258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MakerOfAnarchy/pseuds/MakerOfAnarchy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In this AU, Chris is a Dom who has never had or wanted a sub. And then he meets Darren Criss who comes out of nowhere and is suddenly his friend, his co-worker, and the best thing in his life, all at once.</p>
            </blockquote>





	the tip of my tongue

**Author's Note:**

> Written for a prompt on the GKM. [Link to it: http://glee-kink-meme.livejournal.com/43590.html?thread=58534470#t58656326]  
> Set in a D/s Universe where everyone gets the markings on the sixteenth birthday. Dom's get them on their wrists and subs get them on their ankles.

Chris is sixteen when he gets his markings.

It’s a very, very clear memory in his mind – how the burning on his wrists startled him up from his passive state of consciousness at 2AM and how badly it _hurt_. He had immediately known what it was, and he’d watched in awe as the swirling, red marks etched their way into his skin, matching indents all around his wrists that labeled him as a _Dominant_.

Is he surprised? Sure. Not that he was a Dominant, but that he got marks at all. Everyone gets their marks on their sixteenth birthday, but he wouldn’t have put it past fate to cast him aside as one of those people who go through their lives alone and unlabelled, and to be frank, he wouldn’t have minded. But he doesn’t make a big deal out of it, just drags himself out of bed for two ice packs and falls asleep with his skin cooling gently.

He doesn’t really tell anyone about the marks. He lets his family know but other than that he keeps each wrists covered at all times. His mom had given him the standard issue Dom cuffs (worn because the actual marks on their skin was actually quite ugly) the morning of his birthday but they’d been remained hidden in his desk drawer, gathering dust.

Chris doesn’t like to think of it as _repressing_ his instincts because – he doesn’t really have any. Aside from the random flares that all teenagers get, he never really had the desire to claim someone, or Dom anyone at all. He _is_ proud of himself and who he is; he even starts wearing the cuffs once he gets out of Clovis, new ones that shine as stretch over his skin, like coming home. He’s comfortable with himself, he really is.

When he lands Glee and fills out his body a little more he starts getting offers and suggestive looks from men and women alike, and he always smiles politely and moves on, never letting them get too close. He just doesn’t have any need to be attached.

He’s not a virgin, but his first time had been basically void of any sparks and had seemed like a _deed_.  It had been right after his first Glee Cast party, a guy who he’d made eye contact with once or twice. He’d left feeling unfulfilled and a little bit bored, none of the feeling, none of the rush he was _pretty sure_ he was supposed to get his first time there.

That was when he’d made the promise to himself that he’d stop doing what was expected of him just because it was expected of him. He just never feels anything, and he’s very happy with his right hand when the urge does arise.

And he’s not even pretending when he says he is fine. Most of the time he’s even happy, and when he isn’t he has plenty of friends who make it better.

He is fine.

\--

Until suddenly he is not so fine, in the best way possible.

\--

_“Oh dear, never saw you coming.”_

_\--_

The first time he meets Darren Criss, his best friend, his _co-star_ , he walks into the room to find him on his knees, bending over something on the floor.

The head of short, gorgeous curls jiggles a little as he lifts his head at the sound of the door opening and Chris can’t help the, “ _Oh_ ,” that leaves his lips at the sight. He’s looking into the most gorgeous hazel eyes, bright and already smiling as he slowly rises from his place off the floor, and Chris has to restrain himself from saying anything like _Back to the floor_.

Chris looks at the hand the man extends to him, shakes it gently, and the voice comes out deep and a little breathless as the guy says, “Hey, I’m Darren. You must be Chris. I’ve seen you on _Glee_ before. Big fan.”

Chris doesn’t say anything, but Darren continues on, eyes still locked on his as he says, “Sorry you found me on the floor. It’s incredibly cliché but I dropped my contact as I was taking it out and I couldn’t lose it…”

Chris is watching, taking in everything about Darren. He is watching the way Darren’s hands are moving as he talks, the way he shifts from one foot to another and then stands tall again. He’s watching the way his lips glisten as he licks over them as he talks, seemingly unconsciously.

And when Darren finally stops talking, his eyes widening as he realizes he’d been borderline rambling, he begins to watch Chris too. It seems like he likes what he sees, also, because he takes in a deep breath that draws Chris’ eyes to his chest, and he bites down on his lip and Chris is so far gone, he doesn’t even know what to do.

He takes a step back, looks around Ryan’s office. It’s the same as always, but the change of scenery from Darren’s swirling eyes gives him the moment he needs to breathe deeply and calm down. He looks back at Darren when he thinks he’s regained his composure, only to find Darren still looking at him with wide eyes, looking over his body shamelessly. He feels hot, and he brings a hand up to his neck, rubs it gently.

Finally, Chris blurts out, “You’re Harry Potter,” and at first he doesn’t know why he says that, but then it links that _Oh_ , _this is really Harry Potter. Standing in front of me; watching me ogle him. Okay then._

“No _way_ man!” Darren exclaims, and Chris raises an eyebrow at the expression, wondering just where exactly Darren came from. “You actually saw those?”

Chris nods, and then Darren is a lot closer, laying a hand on his shoulder in a friendly way. “That’s awesome. I didn’t expect anyone to have even seen that stuff. I’m not nearly as awesome as Harry Potter really is but I can’t believe you saw it.”

“I’m a fan,” Chris says, shifting away from Darren’s hand gently. The contact is way too much right now, and he tries to ignore the way Darren’s face falls momentarily, tries to ignore the random urge to reassure him it’s _fine_.

It’s then that Ryan walks in, opening the door and forcing Chris to move closer to Darren in order for him to not be hit. He apparently doesn’t notice the tension, because he doesn’t even look up from his papers, just goes, “Oh great, you’ve already met. Chris, this is Darren. Your new co-star.”

Fuck.

The blood rushes from his face as he realizes: he’s just been staring at and having inappropriate thoughts about his newest _co-star_ and he is 99.97% sure that his co-star is very aware of those things, because Chris had been staring at him too long for him _not_ to notice, and Chris just wants to melt into the floor.

He blinks away the thoughts for another time, returning Darren’s smile as they’re each handed scripts and told to be there at 8AM Monday.

They get out to the parking lot and Darren invites him to lunch, blinking too much and fidgeting, clearly nervous and what else can Chris say but yes?

\--

Darren’s eyes have been attached to his cuffs since they ordered their food at the little restaurant Darren drives them to, staring at them like they’re a wonder.

After a few minutes of silence Chris slowly retracts his hand from the table, the self-hatred heavy at the back of his throat, but then Darren is snagging his wrist gently, fingers curving over the leather.

Chris freezes, stiff as a board in his seat as he clears his throat, “Um...”

“I’m, uh, a,” Darren clears his throat too, his Adam’s Apple bobbing, “a sub. Will that – will that be a problem?”

Darren looks up, stares into Chris’ eyes and Chris feels his heart break in two at the thought that it ever has been a problem.

“Darren,” Chris says softly, turning his palm over so Darren’s fingers slide over the leather and to the skin of his palm, letting Chris grasp his fingers gently and only momentarily. He’s not one for physical contact, but Darren’s hands are warm and calloused in his for that one moment, “I’ve known you were a sub since I first walked in and saw you. It’s never going to be a problem.”

The feeling of their hands connected feels so _right_ , Chris loses his breath for that moment, squeezing Darren’s hand gently as he lets go. Their waitress returns with their food, causing Chris to look at his plate. Darren doesn’t stop staring at him though, and Chris has to distract himself before he does something _so dumb_ , like lean over and kiss Darren, or take him home and use those toys he’s never had a reason to use before.

Chris takes his eyes away from Darren and looks at his burger, picking it up and taking a bite without hesitance.

He takes a deep breath and changes the subject with a smile, “Tell me about how you landed _Glee_.”

\--

It starts with little things and Chris, honestly, he doesn’t even notice it.

Chris will tell Darren what he wants to eat and Darren will immediately be delivering it to him, sometimes before he even finishes asking. Or he’ll tell him what tie to go with if he’s in-between two and Darren will go with it with barely even any thought.

Little things, things all friends do for each other.

And if Darren likes to press himself a little closer to Chris when they’re sitting than normal, well -- they aren’t very normal at all, are they? But that’s a good thing. Normal is boring and trying to _be_ normal has never gotten Chris anywhere.

People don’t understand that, though. He starts wondering if he should maybe explain it a little better. Then he remembers that he doesn’t care, because they’re them, and they’re normal and perfect together.

And Chris doesn’t think he’ll need anything else for a long time.

\--

_“Oh my, look what you have done.”_

_\--_

Chris has never had a friendship as effortless as the one he has with Darren. Darren can sit there and talk about a band he thinks is amazing, and he can convince Chris to listen to that band within two minutes, no matter how much Chris might playfully resist.

They tease, a lot. It never feels forced or condescending, and that’s important to Chris. Years of being condescended by his peers and then the media has made him wary but Darren always smiles to let him know he’s joking, and it never hurts.

And if you look at their text messages together you’ll just find a lot of funny stuff, things that make them laugh or remind them of each other (Darren’s especially talented at finding dumb pictures to send to Chris, or tag him on Twitter so they can laugh about it publicly.)

He hardly even notices that Darren is a sub, and Darren never _pressures_ him into Dominating him. It just comes naturally and effortlessly like everything else about them.

Everything about the way they interact seems _friendly_ to him, and so right. They just fit together, talking about things for hours on hours, doing things together and genuinely enjoying them, together.

They talk about everything together.

This is why it shouldn’t surprise him when Darren looks over to him from the other side of the couch, feet on the coffee table, ankle cuffs displayed proudly and says, “Have you ever been in a claim?”

Chris chokes on his Chinese food, a noodle going down the wrong chute and giving him a burning sensation in his nose as he takes a drink. That’s the last thing he was expecting to come out of Darren’s mouth.

He takes a deep breath and tries to prepare himself for the conversation Darren apparently wants to have. One Chris doesn’t think he’ll ever be ready to have, not with Darren, at least.

But he doesn’t say that he’s not ready because he _knows_ about this stuff, it’s not scary to him, but opening this door with Darren seems like it’s opening a gateway for a lot more than just a talk between friends. 

“No…” Darren is staring at him intently, tired eyes watery behind his glasses. They’d had a long day at work and this was supposed to just be a relaxing wind down, dinner, wine and a random movie off Chris’ shelf but no, they’re having this conversation.

“Why?” He tries not to sound to nervous, goes back to eating his noodles because he knows he can’t look at Darren right now.

“Just curious,” Darren says back, and Chris sees him pick up his own food out of the corner of his eye and resume the movie. Chris takes a deep breath, thinking it’s over, but then Darren is pausing it again not five minutes later, looking at him again.

“Why haven’t you?” The look Darren has on his face is one Chris can’t comprehend, eyebrows pinched like he’s contemplating something. “I’m sure there are plenty of people throwing themselves at the chance to be _Chris Colfer’s Sub._ So why not?”

“Why should I have to?” Chris snaps, and then stops himself, takes another deep breath. He turns his head, looks at Darren head on, “I have just never felt that urge before. And I’m not going to pretend for the sake of society.”

Darren licks across his lips and nods, turning back to the TV.

Chris thinks he can let it be, but he finds himself thinking about Darren, and what experiences he’s had. The thought of Darren with another person makes him sick for unknown reasons, but he wonders if Darren has ever felt the need to submit to someone so wholly, to give himself over like the good Sub Chris _knows_ he would be.

And he’s hesitant to even say that because “good Sub” is used and thrown out so carelessly, but Chris knows Darren would be fabulous. Just the way he puts his whole heart into something, tries to please everyone tells Chris that he has the exact right markings.

It’s Chris who presses pause this time, staring at Darren who stares back in surprise. “What about you?”

“What about me what…?” Darren says, sounding confused until realization dawns on him and Chris watches in fascination as an honest to God _blush_ colors Darren’s cheeks. “Oh, um. Yeah. I have.”

Something flares in Chris’ stomach at that, something that makes Chris want to stop this whole conversation and do _something_ to Darren, something to show him that he belongs to Chris and Chris only. Something that makes him want to shackle Darren’s ankles to the bed by his cuffs and make him _beg_ for it, something –

Chris snaps out of it by Darren’s hand on his shoulder, looking at him with concerned eyes. “Hey man, you alright? You left me for a moment. And you’re gonna break your noodle box if you keep that up.”

Darren is looking at him like he _knows_ , and Chris wants to hit him and kiss him all at once. He loosens his grip on the noodles and breathes steadily.

“I’m fine,” his voice comes out hoarse and high, and he clears it, tries again. “I’m fine. What was it, uh – what was it like?”

He doesn’t know why he asks that but he does and he can’t bring himself to take it back.

“It was – it was good. Fulfilling. My most recent Dom was, uh, she was very caring,” Darren rubs the back of his neck, “Not really for me, though.”

“How many people have you been with besides her?” And really, where does Chris get off asking questions like that? But Darren responds enthusiastically, scooting a little – a lot -- closer to Chris.

“Like…seven,” Darren says, and Chris can smell the wine on his breath, he’s suddenly that close. “But none of them ever…”

Chris’ body is thrumming, his cheeks flushed from the alcohol and the heat and Darren’s proximity. Darren sets a hand on his thigh and Chris can feel his muscle jump erratically under the touch.

He desperately wants Darren to finish that sentence, wants to know exactly what Darren thinks of all his other partners compared to now but then his phone rings, and Chris takes the opportunity to move away from Darren.

He pretends not to notice Darren’s dejected sigh.

\--

Being around Darren is the first time that he really _feels_ these things. They are deep in his gut, settled there like a rock every time Darren unconsciously follows an order, or every time Darren looks to him for approval he didn’t know he was suited to give.

But it’s just another thing that feels right between them. He never imagined that the first time he was in this positioned he’d _also_ be in a position where there was no way he could actually act on those feelings like he’d promised himself.

Even if most of the time he doesn’t think Darren would hesitate to submit for him -- not when he looks at Chris like he personally hung the stars.

They are coworkers and Darren is his best friend, and he can’t ruin that because of his stupid primal urges.

So Chris, for the first time, suppresses his feelings and tells himself very firmly that they are just good friends.

\--

The first time he _fucks up_ is the second night they go out with the cast.

Everyone had been drinking, having fun and then Chris had seen Darren pressed up against a guy playfully. It was really a harmless dance, and then the crowd got a little too antsy and then Darren was pressed very _firmly_ against the guy, and it’s when Chris sees Darren smile teasingly up at the guy that he sees _red_.

He’s a little bit tipsy so maybe that’s what makes him sit his drink down and makes his way over to Darren determinedly, not swaying a bit. In the morning that’s what he’ll tell himself, at least. He grabs Darren’s wrist a little bit roughly, yanking him away from the man and into Chris’ chest. Darren looks startled but pleased, wrapping his arms around Chris’ neck as they move together, hips pressed against each other gently.

“Well hello,” Darren has a slight slur, but his eyes are bright and alert so Chris knows he isn’t so drunk he’s unaware. “I didn’t think you would come over.”

Chris wraps his own arms low around Darren’s waist, hitches him a little closer to his body and glares at the man over his shoulder, silently telling him to back off and the man, another Dom, looks like he wants to argue but he looks down at the way Chris is gripping at Darren’s sides possessively and seems to realize it’s a lost battle.

Chris turns his attention back to where Darren is leaning into him heavily. They’re hardly moving, and Chris feels a little uncomfortable doing this in public, but they can’t go anywhere else without it being suspicious.

Darren is so warm against him, and Chris pulls him a bit closer as the song changes to something less erratic but pulsing, working its way through his blood and guiding him as he guides Darren.

Chris can feel Darren’s erection through his pants and Chris bites his lip and lets out a groan when Darren shifts closer deliberately, breaths hot against Chris’ neck.

“Oh _god_ , Chris,” Darren groans, low and right next to his ear as he leans up. “Let me blow you – let me serve you, please, Sir.”

Chris’ eyes fly open at Darren’s words, muffled and hot but clear as day in his ear. He brings a hand up and slides it up into Darren’s hair, not even having the will to smile at how Darren giggles at his ticklish spot.

The name is rattling around in his head, repeating and echoing to the beat of the music.

 _Sir_.

Darren had called him _Sir._

Is that how Darren saw him? As his ‘ _Sir_ ’?

It stirs something in Chris’ stomach that is only ever unlocked around Darren but right now it seems like so much more, the music and the temperature and _Sir_ all building up and making him nauseous with how badly he wants this -- how badly he wants Darren.

It’s the alcohol (that’s what he will keep telling himself) that makes him tighten his grip on Darren’s hair and tilt his head back, it’s the alcohol that makes him lean down and say into Darren’s ear, “You want me, huh?”

“Mm- _hmm_ ,” Darren sighs out, seeming to slump against Chris. Chris wonders when he last let the submissive side of his nature come out, how long he’s been ignoring it. “Please, Sir.”

“Go call us a cab,” Chris takes a step back. “Give me a minute.”

Darren nods eagerly and walks off, and Chris admires his sexy gait from behind before turning around and walking to where the club kept their coats, retrieving them and hoping none of the cast sees them slipping out together. He takes a deep breath once he steps outside, wrapped up in his coat with Darren’s across his own. It’s cold out, but Chris still feels like he’s burning so he stops, inhales through his nose and pushes back all thoughts of how wrong this might be.

Darren is standing with a cab, leaning into the door and talking enthusiastically to the cabbie, shivering. Chris throws his jacket over his shoulders and tries to ignore the grateful way Darren looks up at him as he says, “Thanks, Chris. I forgot I even brought a jacket.” Chris just nods and slides in the cab, pulling out his phone to send off a text once they’re in a cab, just a ‘ _Got home fine. Sent Darren home in a cab,’_ to Ashley that he knows will get around.

He doesn’t feel bad about the lie. He can’t, not when Darren has another hand on his thigh, squeezing and caressing gently. He lets it go on for a moment before he grasps Darren’s hand and moves it to the seat between them, “No touching, not yourself or me until I give you permission.”

Darren sighs but obeys and doesn’t try to touch him again, clenching his hands together against his own thigh. The cab pulls up to Chris’ house and he nudges Darren out, handing him the key. “Wait in my room, sitting on the bed, until I get there.” Darren nods quickly, making his way up to the house as Chris turns back and handles the payment for the cab.

When he finally enters his house he goes straight to the kitchen and grabs water for them both. He’s trying not to think to hard about what he’s about to do, what line he’s about to cross. He just lets his previously absent instincts guide him, guide him up to his bedroom where Darren is waiting, fidgeting in anticipation.

“Here,” Chris holds the glass of water out to Darren who looks up at him in surprise but takes it, “Drink all of that. If…if we’re going to do this, I need to know you’re sober and consenting.”

“Oh for fucks sakes, Chris,” Chris notices how he’s dropped the title, “I’ve wanted this since I first saw you. The alcohol was just a little courage.”

“Why would you need liquid courage to be with me?” Chris inquires, stripping off his coat and hanging it up, standing straighter when he sees how Darren is staring at his body. “I’m just…Chris. I like the same stupid shit you do.”

“You’re _Chris_ ,” Darren says, like that explains it all. He flops back on the bed and stretches out, and he looks so handsome right then, spread out on Chris’ bed, a five o’ clock shadow prominent on his face as he fingers the fabric of Chris’ sheets. “Chris, who’s never had a sub. Chris, who doesn’t _want_ one. Didn’t think I’d be an exception.”

“Yeah, well, you’re _Darren_ ,” Chris teases, climbing onto the bed on his knees. “The first sub who’s ever made me think I need them like they seemed to need me.”

Their eyes stay locked as Chris sets a hand on Darren’s shirt, fingers dipping into the open top button and pressing there, liking the way Darren’s breath hitches when he does it. He lays his hand down on Darren’s collar bone flat as he says, “Do you have a safe word?”

“With, uh, Mistress,” Chris ignores how his blood boils at that, “we used Tigers. Is that alright?”

Chris nods, tamps down on the jealousy that hits him at using another Dom’s safe word for _his_ Sub (at least his Sub for the night.)

“Stand up and strip,” Chris stands up and removes his shirt completely, trying not to feel self-conscious about his body. He’s built tighter now, no more baby fat and way more muscle, and Darren seems to appreciate it, eyes on Chris as he follows the orders, taking off his clothes and standing in the middle of the room because Chris hadn’t told him to sit back down.

“Perfect,” Chris praises, coming to stand in front of Darren. Chris can still smell the alcohol on Darren’s breath as he tilts Darren’s head back and kisses him, their lips molding together firmly as Chris controls it. Darren’s lips are gentle underneath his, bitter like the whiskey he drank, taking whatever Chris gives him and letting out airy sounds through his nose. Chris licks into his mouth and reaches down for Darren’s hands, guiding them up to his neck, glad when Darren takes the hint and wraps them there. He pulls Darren closer, still kissing him and nudging against Darren’s hard cock with his thigh.

Chris let’s his tongue dip into Darren’s mouth, pressing Darren closer to him by his hair as Darren moans again. Finally he pulls away to slide his lips down Darren’s neck, across where his throat is bobbing as he breathes heavily under Chris’ lips. The grip Chris has on his hair is tight, the sweaty curls sliding through his fingers as he keeps Darren’s back for him to kiss him easier. Chris pulls back completely, running a hand over Darren’s cheek.

“Undo my jeans and slide them down,” Chris likes to give precise orders, likes to make it clear what he wants. There is no room for misinterpretation as Darren slides his hand to the buckle of his belt and slides it through the holes, not hesitating to go for the actual material of his pants. “All the way,” Chris adds, smirking.

Darren looks up at Chris with wide eyes but follows the orders, sinking down to the floor with the jeans. Chris steps back and out of them, kicking them away. He removes his own briefs just to watch Darren’s eyes get wide with lust again. His cock is hard and flushed red, and he strokes himself a few times, admiring the way Darren looks on his knees, sweaty and silently begging.

“Back onto the bed, now,” Chris says, breathless. Darren scrambles to follow the order, eyes dark and lust filled as he slides up onto the bed, resting against the pillows.

Chris takes his hand away from himself and gets on the mattress, throwing a leg across Darren’s chest heavily. He kneels up so his cock is barely away from Darren’s mouth and says, “Have you ever given a blow job before, Darren?” Darren nods, pupils blown wide. Chris, once again, ignores the jealousy he feels, “Good. I want you to take me as far as you can down your throat, alright. Touch yourself, but do not come until I have. Got it?”

Darren nods, breathes out, “Got it,” and Chris slides forward into Darren’s waiting mouth, immediately moaning at the warmth around him. He grabs onto his head board, trying to refrain from simply fucking into Darren’s mouth. “ _Shit_ , that feels amazing Darren.”

Darren sucks, pulling a little more into his mouth and hollowing his cheeks when Chris hits against the back of his throat. Chris looks at Darren’s closed eyes, sweat all over his forehead and the most blissful tilt of his lips as he takes in Chris’ cock. _He’s in Subspace_ , Chris realizes, and the thought that he did that, he put him in such a wonderful place has Chris coming, stilling the tiny motions of his hips as he does, watching Darren swallow.

Chris pulls back, off of Darren, and turns around on the bed to watch Darren stroke himself. He bends down to Darren’s ear and replaces his hand with his own, moving at a slower, tighter pace than Darren had, “You’re so gorgeous, you know that Darren?” Chris shifts so he has a thigh between Darren’s own, nudging against his balls. “And so good for me, fuck. Come on Darren.” Chris squeezes on the upstroke gently and Darren comes then, hands clenching in the sheets and crying out, a shrill sound ripping its way from his throat. He slumps against the sheets when he is done, fingers flexing and tightening as he pants, mouth open and lips red, shining from the spit he’d used on Chris’ cock.

“Fuck,” Chris can’t help but say, wiping what come he’d gotten on his hand off on the sheets.

Chris watches Darren, still so gloriously deep in subspace and he gets up to clean them off.

He walks into his bathroom and washes himself up before coming back to where Darren is still sprawled on the bed, eyes wide open. His come is drying on him and Chris is quick to wipe it off, not wanting either of them to have to bother with a shower right now. He throws it into his hamper and coaxes Darren underneath the covers, following him and wraps one around his waist, the other sliding under Darren’s pillow, fingers peeking out, wanting him to know that he wasn’t going anywhere, no matter what the confusing, twisting feelings in his chest told him.

“Will you be here in the morning?” Darren reaches his free hand out to clasp his fingers around Chris’ peeking underneath the pillows, thumb stroking over it lovingly.

“I live here,” Chris snorts, nuzzling into his still warm curls.

“Mmmm, just checking.”

\--

When Chris wakes up Darren’s fingers are still entangled with his own, even though they’ve switched positions during the night, Chris on his back and Darren on his stomach, face down in the pillows. Their hands rest between them, and Chris ignores the light feeling he gets in his chest at the sight.

He gets out of bed to make coffee, knowing that there will definitely be a talk this morning. Even if they aren’t anything official, he knows that subs crave assurance, and if Chris does nothing else right, he’ll do that.

Darren stumbles out of the bedroom like a woodland animal, timid with eyes red rimmed from sleep and hair going everywhere, and Chris feels endeared at the sight.

Chris slides a coffee cup over to him as he sits down at the table, refraining from touching him, no matter how much as he wants to.

“So – um,” Darren clears his throat, takes a sip of his coffee, “Fun night last night.” And Chris can see what he’s doing, breaking the tension and his stomach swoops as he feels himself falling head first in love. It’s a weird feeling that has his stomach doing flip flops as he stares at Darren with his messy curls and still tired eyes, lips curving like everything is oh-so-amusing as he drinks from his coffee cup.

He clears his throat, smiles at Darren’s calming smile over his mug. “Yeah…it was great.”

 “Do we…” Darren looks down, fiddles with the sweatpants Chris left for him, “can we do it again?”

“You want to?” Chris says, and something in the tone of his voice must make Darren look up because he does and swallows as he nods.

“Come here,” Chris beckons, pushing his cup away and turning out his chair. Darren comes immediately, standing in between Chris’ legs when Chris pulls him. He cups Darren’s jaw and pulls him down for a kiss that tastes like his shitty store bought coffee.

“We will do _this_ for a long as you like.”

\--

_“You’re my favorite song.”_

\--

It’s casual. That’s what it is, that’s what they’re doing: casual sex between friends.

It doesn’t have to be any more than that until suddenly, it is.

\--

He’s aware, somewhere in the back of his mind that he’s practically _bathing_ in self-inflicted denial, but he can’t acknowledge it, because acknowledging it makes it something much more than a friendship (that’s sometimes not a friendship but he can’t – he can’t think about it).

And they are just good friends. Who maybe fuck a little bit. But that’s okay.

It all just feels right, so it doesn’t occur to him that others might not see it the way he feels until Lea makes it her job to slap him with a dose of reality.

Chris is settling into a table in the lunch area, Darren right behind him after they finish filming separate scenes. He sets down his bag and takes Darren’s too before looking up at Darren who’s still standing there.

“You don’t want to go out to eat, Chris?” And the way Darren says his name, like it’s a title in and of itself and dips his head submissively towards Chris and Chris only has Chris shivering, but he smiles up at Darren anyways.

“No, we don’t have enough time today,” Darren nods, shifts on his feet, and asks, “What would you like to eat, Chris?”

“A Carne Asada burrito, without –“ Chris starts, but Darren interrupts him.

“ – without red sauce,” Darren completes his sentence, backing away already and looking amused.

Chris narrows his eyes and continues, “ – and a Diet – “

“ – Coke, I know,” Darren is teasing him, smiling down at him like Chris has given him something wonderful.

“What if I had said I wanted a water bottle today?” Chris huffs out playfully, leaning forward, knowing the smile on his face must be blinding. He can’t help it though. Really, he’s tried. He’s tried pushing down the curve of his lips when Darren looks at him, trying not to be too obvious that just a look from Darren can make him feel so joyful.

Darren pauses, sets a hand on his hip and looks at Chris pointedly, “Do you?”

Chris slumps back, defeated but still smiling, sighing out, “ _No_.”

He mouths out, “Screw you,” and Darren walks away laughing, bumping fists with one of the workers and smiling as he does. Chris resists the urge to sigh wistfully or stare at his ass, telling himself that nothing will ever come of it, and then he turns around to Lea, Lea who is staring at him like something crazy just happened.

“Oh my God!” She bursts out, and then she’s clinging to Chris’ arm, squeezing. “Tell me everything.”

“Tell you what?” He tries to shake her off but she’s attached to him like an octopus, not even fazed by the movement.

“When did you two enter a claim?!”

Chris scoffs, successfully shaking her off. “We’re not in a claim.”

Lea gawps at him, and he looks away, uncomfortable. “Then what did I just watch between you two?”

“A friendly interaction,” Chris automatically replies, looking everywhere but at her. He winces when she lets out a loud laugh, slapping her hand on the table gleefully.

“Oh Chris,” She throws her hair back and purses her lips, her amusement written all over her face. “I don’t know what world you’re living in but – “

“No buts,” Chris interrupts, “there is no claim. We’re friends.”

“You may not have _written_ anything official down but,” she takes his jaw in her hand and turns it towards where Darren is walking back to them, grinning at them – grinning at Chris, holding exactly what Chris ordered, “ _but_ , that right there? The way he’s looking at you?” And Chris sees it, he sees the way Darren’s eyes light up when Chris makes eye contact with him, sees the way he speeds up, eager as always. “That’s a claim, whether you like it or not.”

Chris’ stomach is churning, and he is suddenly not very hungry. He stands up, grabs his bag, reluctantly waiting for Darren, just because he can’t just leave him no matter how much he wants to run without saying anything to him. “I’m – I’m not very hungry anymore. I’m going to my trailer. Bye.”

He barely spares Darren a second glance, pretends not to see the hurt expression on his face. And when he looks at Lea, he can barely handle the smug way she kisses her fingers and blows it at him, can’t handle the sinking feeling _She’s right isn’t she_.

\--

He barely makes contact with Darren for the rest of the time they’re at work, even though Darren tries. He sits by him between takes like always, bugs Chris about making his move on _Words With Friends_ until Chris shrugs him off and finds Cory to sit next to. Darren suggests they hang out and Chris tells him he is still not feeling well. Darren jokingly offers at the end of the day to make him some soup from a can to settle his stomach and Chris tells him there’s no way he can eat.

Darren offers him cuddles, staring at him like his heart might break right there outside Chris’ trailer if Chris blatantly denies him again and that’s why Chris says yes to cuddles, because no matter how confused he is, he can never really deny Darren.

Chris lets Darren drive them to his house, tapping his hand against the steering wheel and singing about LA’s traffic to the tune of whatever song comes on the radio. Chris leans his head back on the passenger’s seat and lolls his head to the side, taking in the profile Darren’s expressive face.

 _He really is gorgeous_ , Chris thinks. He’d known that the first time they had seen each other, of course, but now that he really knows Darren, it seems like he’s shining from the inside out, just because he refuses to let anything get him down.

Darren looks over, smiles, and that’s when Chris is hit with so many different sensations, all of them new to him. But he feels it right now, and it’s much different, much more than what they were doing before. He’s never before felt the desire the claim somebody, to slap cuffs with _his_ name over his ankles instead of the bland, unclaimed ones he already has. Until now.

They pull up to Chris’ house and Darren grabs Chris’ bag, leaving his own in the car.

“Are you sure I can’t get you anything…” Darren says, dropping Chris’ bag on the couch. “I make a mean Campbells soup…”

Chris sucks in a breath, that swooping feeling from the morning after their first time hitting him again.

“Darren what is this?” Darren turns around, eyebrows raised. Chris waves a hand between them, swallows. “ _This_?”

“What do you want it to be?”

And Chris realizes it’s been what _he_ wants this whole time, and Darren’s just been going along happily. Because they’re…whatever they are.

“No,” He slides closer to Darren, shaking his head and setting his hands around Darren’s waist and pulling him close for a hug, “what do _you_ want this to be? Be honest.”

“Chris…” Darren says into his shoulder, “I guess you just haven’t noticed but _this_ is already everything to me. Everything. I was just wondering if you’d notice or if you…” Darren pulls back and looks anywhere but at Chris until Chris turns his head towards him, “would even bother to say anything if you did…”

“I want…” _to make you mine…_ “to…claim you. For us to have an official claim. For however long. I think.”

“Is that something you’d like?” Chris looks down at Darren to see him grinning, reaching up and kissing Chris hard, hand around his neck as Chris presses him to the counter.

\--

Chris doesn’t give Darren very many orders as they make their way to the bedroom, attached by their lips. Their hands roam over each other’s bodies freely, rubbing and squeezing at places that they know will make each other moan.

Chris strips Darren down quickly, letting his lips glide wetly down and across Darren’s chest, sucking hickeys into his hip bones and making sure to caress his thighs gently. He loves Darren’s body, could spend hours doing nothing but kissing him all over.

He lets himself linger at the back of Darren’s sensitive knees, sucking until the skin is reddened to his satisfaction. It’ll be turning a gorgeous purple soon, and Chris makes his way up, biting at Darren’s sides gently.

He wants to cover Darren in his marks, show the world that he is _his_ and his only.

“On the bed, hands and knees,” Chris nods upwards and turns around, going to his closet and pulling out a small box, full of toys he’s never had a reason to use before. He grabs the lube and the handcuffs he’s looking for, leather with a soft lining, and stands up again, taking off the rest of his own clothes.

Darren is positioned perfectly, legs spread slightly, hands clenching in the bed sheets, making his biceps flex and Chris’ cock gives a little jerk as he lets out a breath, his whole body reacting to the sight of Darren waiting for him.

“ _Please_ don’t make me wait, Sir,” Darren says, a broken sound following from his mouth as he rocks forward in anticipation.

“I’ll make you wait if I like, Darren,” Chris drops his hand against his ass lightly, just teasing. He crawls up to the top where Darren’s head is, ducking down to press just a soft kiss to the underside of his jaw before he wraps his hands around Darren’s wrists and pulls them to the headboard, locking the handcuffs around his wrists tight.

“Remind me of your safe word,” Chris says, kissing at Darren’s neck again.

“Mmf, tigers, I remember, Sir,” Darren moans shamelessly, tugging at his restraints. It holds tight and the bed jerks a little with the force, knocking against the wall. Chris goes back down to the foot of the bed, slicking up his fingers as he settles in between Darren’s legs.

Gently, his index finger pushes at Darren’s hole, working against the resistance until Darren relaxes. “Oh god,” Darren keens out, breathless as Chris adds another, crooking them so he finds his prostate quickly, massaging and pressing. Darren’s sounds get louder, a little more desperate, rocking back against Chris hand.

“Sir, please, more,” Darren says, drawing Chris’ eyes up to wearing Darren is straining again, trying to get closer to Chris’ hand. Chris nods, adds some lube and gently inserts another finger alongside the other two, reveling in Darren’s sounds that are becoming more frequent and even louder.

“What’s the rule, Darren?” Chris says, his fingers moving faster.

“Don’t – don’t come until you do,” Darren says, breathless.

Chris grins, “Good boy,” and deems Darren prepared enough, scooting backwards and removing his fingers. He wipes them on his bed and grabs Darren’s ankles, straightening out his legs so he’s flat on the bed before Chris separates the cheeks and guides his cock into his wet hole, sliding in and groaning at the tight feeling.

Chris sets a hand at Darren’s lower back and another at his hip, grip loose and sliding through the sweat as he bottoms out. Darren is completely at Chris mercy like this, hands against the headboard and body pliant underneath Chris’. From the gentle sounds coming from his mouth, Chris is sure Darren’s enjoying subspace, legs bent towards his body, framing Chris as he fucks into him hard.

Chris can’t resist sliding a hand into Darren’s hair, pulling him up and biting at his shoulder, leaving another mark. “Who do you belong to, Darren?”Chris slides in hard and Darren yells out a pained, “ _You_ , Sir,” as Chris reaches his prostate again and again.

“Say it Darren, tell me who you belong to,” Chris says, trying not to shout from his thrill as he keeps up his rapid pace, both of them sweating now. Darren doesn’t answer for a while, and Chris can see his eyes closed tight as he tries to push back against Chris.

“Answer me Darren,” Chris says, leaning down closer to him to nip hard at his shoulder, sure to leave another mark. “Who do you belong to?”

“ _You_ , Chris,” Darren says, panting into the pillows and so quiet. “ _You_. I’m yours.”

\--

Darren is always stupid and pliant after he’s been deep in Subspace. He always comes out with a peaceful smile, reaching for Chris as soon as he’s done wiping them down.

And Chris searches for the awful feelings he’s come to expect by now – confusion, and anger at himself have become pretty good friends of his – but he finds none of those things, just an overwhelming affection for the man in his bed as he wraps himself around Chris and falls deep into sleep, that smile still on his face.

\--

_“Always on the tip of my tongue.”_

_\--_

 

_~the end~_

**Author's Note:**

> Title and lyrics at the beginning from The Civil Wars', "Tip of My Tongue." So sorry for mistakes!


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